So I've never turned down a commission before, and I just had this one, a bit complex, a lot more than I could chew for my own skill level(This would've been my biggest commission). I realized my art wasn't good enough to achieve what I wanted. I went on CA for feedback and the responses were blunt as usual, a specific one was more or less asking me, why take commissions if you can't deliver? I had been avoiding doing any art on the side. Considering this was much overdue, I went back and redid the image multiple times on photoshop and by hand, realized I knew nothing about anatomy or color theory.
I gave her money back and I feel much better now. Now I owe one more small thing to burn56
for being very very patient, who had commissioned me in order to help my cat, Jack when he was sick.
When I finish that, no more commissions. not for a long time, I have too many personal things I want to do, and owing art really prevents me from being able to do that. I have stuff from 2012 I still wanna finish. It's already 2 1/2 months into the year and I don't want to spend my entire year with a weight on my shoulders. I shouldn't be taking commissions for experimentation or as a way to learn how to do things, which I believe should be practiced at my own time and on my own work. I need to stop being so stubborn and stop making excuses with my art. CA certainly still intimidates me and I still wanna learn. Unfortunately, the truth kinda hurt for me but I feel much better now.